I finished watching all of the episodes of Extreme Couponing on Netflix. In a state of fear and confusion, I vowed to stop using any coupons at all, and resumed doing 100% of our grocery shopping at Trader Joe's. Giant Eagle, which has more personal information on us than the CIA, promptly sent me a TWENTY DOLLAR GIFT CARD in the mail. Furthering my conviction to stay the hell out of there. Creepy.
I found a winter coat that fit all the stipulations: Warm, cool, doesn't show dirt. It's Tommy Hilfiger, which is a brand I haven't worn since 8th grade, but I liked it. With sales and coupons, it was $93 (down from $275.00).
I'm 5'2 so it's nearly knee-length on me. The Eskimo hood is baller. You can see me in it at the singing tree, but here it is on a regular-sized person.
I still haven't bought new glasses. After all the time I spent on Lookmatic, I decided that I better go to an actual eye doctor and make sure my prescription is still accurate before I place a non-refundable order. I'm guessing it's not accurate, because I have trouble seeing the TV and reading street signs.
Coming soon: Ms. Magpie's Magical Medical Month, a.k.a. actually scheduling all the doctor's appointments I've been putting off for a year.
I've been to two more of these affairs since the original nose rape. There's been less odor, but even more clutter. At the second one, there was actually a man with a ponytail wearing a Star Trek t-shirt tucked into parachute pants... and not in an ironic way.
|If you're a Simpsons fan, you'll understand this picture.|
I've given up trying to pay attention when enginerds explain board game rules, like, "When you have built four scepter gratis towers in the ninth quadrant, you can trade for +2 victory points."
My new tactic is to get drunk enough that I won't be invited back.