no, not Christmas. SEPTEMBER.
You've probably noticed that I've been laying low the past few months. Summer isn't a good time for me. It's hot. I'm bored. Everyone is out of town and everything is annoying.
But now it's fall. Back to school! (That's not sarcasm, I'm actually happy.) Obviously the best way to prepare for a new semester is to buy new clothes. I've been to an embarrassing amount of malls in the past month.
But let's talk about a few things happening at the mall right now that I don't understand. P.S. I'm about to sound really old:
1. Matte nail polish.
I've ruined countless manicures by digging into my jeans pocket or petting the cat with sticky nails, only to end up with... smudged, fuzzy, un-shiny nails. I don't WANT fingers that look like a Teflon frying pan. Can you explain this to me? What am I not getting here?
2. M. C. Hammer's pants.
I have no words. Do you?
3. Crop tops. Have you been near an AE or a Target lately? It's ALL crop tops.
Wide and loose, baby. Bonus points if you wear it with your Hammer pants.
Moving right along...
4. Platform high-top sneakers.
Thank you, Sketchers, for giving me one extra migraine this year. Available at your local Kohls.
5. Shirts buttoned up to the neck.
Maybe it's because my boobs are too big or my head is too small, but on me, this particular trend just looks... odd. Kind of priggish and 80s, in the worst way. I'll be wearing my shirts half-buttoned and slutty, thankyouverymuch.
Alright, that's all I have for now. What else have you seen on Pinterest that you can't figure out? Let's discuss.